ALLURA'S NEW GROOVE - PART 11

Pidge is sitting on the floor beside the coffee table, with a doll in each hand. The one is of him, the other is that beach bimbo chick.

“Well, Shannon, it’s too bad Lance had that snowboarding accident and he can’t take you out on a date.” He jiggles the Pidge doll as if it’s speaking. “How about we go to the movies instead?”

“Why thank you, Pidge, that’s really nice of you.”

“Pidge, you seriously have to quit. That is too sad.”

“Shut up, Galen. I’m rehearsing.”

“For what? How is Lance gonna break his leg - are you planning to over wax his snow board or something? Dude, that’s way wrong.” I point a finger at him. “Love has made you sick.”

Pidge glares at me. “Haven’t you ever heard of role-playing therapy? I don’t have the nerve to ask her for a date yet, so I’m acting it out to see how I would handle it.” He sighs and frowns. “Actually, the only way I would get a chance at a date is if Lance really did break his leg or something.” He sets the dolls aside and drums his fingers on the table.

“At least your competition isn’t ten times your size.”

“Galen, you might as well forget it. You are not ever going to distract Caro away from Hunk.”

“Not even with the puppy eyes?”

“Not even with the puppy eyes. See, one of the reasons that she likes him is because he’s cool with kids. He plays that one game - the one with those wooden balls you roll up a ramp and into holes or something...what’s it called?”

“Skee-ball?”

“Yeah, that’s it, skee-ball. Hunk kicks ass on that game. He’s got the technique down pat. He gets the highest score almost every game he plays, and he saves up the tickets so he can take the kids at the castle over to the arcade to get stuff when they get good grades.”

“No kidding.”

“Nope, and that’s just one of the reasons why you’ll never get Caro away from him.”

“I could always wax his snow board...”

“Hunk doesn’t do snowboards. He’s got one of those heavy-duty snowmobiles instead.”

“Oh, well. A guy can dream, though.” I pick the girl doll up and turn it over in my hands. “This doesn’t even look like Shannon, dude.”

“Yeah it does. Look from the neck down.”

“You are a serious perv...oh hey, yes it does.”

“Told you so. You know, they might make dolls of Lynne, Caro and Shannon too. They already have Coran, Nanny and some generic guard. Shannon’s way more important than a guard.”

I grin at him. “Too bad they couldn’t make them life size. Then we could get a Lynne for Dunkirk.”

“How would they make a life-sized Lynne, I wonder?”

“Maybe they’d have to sculpt a figure while she posed naked...” We both pause in thought. Pidge blinks and shakes his head.

“Let’s not go there.”

“Yeah, good idea.” I put the doll down. Lance enters the sitting room a moment later. He takes note of the bags piled up around Pidge. “What the heck is all that stuff?”

Pidge glances around at the packages. “I got the Limited Edition Sven, the full Team Two set and the Blue Lion Mega Super-Soaker.” He holds the box up for Lance to see. “Check it out. It holds a full gallon of water.”

“Oh, I’m impressed. Really I am.”

“You should be, since you’re going to wind up on the firing end of it someday soon.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to take collectibles out of the box.”

“I’m not. I bought two of them. One’s going to stay mint in box, and the other one is to play with.”

“How nice. But anyway, I’m here to relay an update. Coran’s going to turn in to bed in an hour and a half. Keith figures all we have to do is wait until he’s asleep, head over to the condo, confront the girls en masse and bring Allura back. By the time everyone gets up tomorrow, everything will be back to normal.”

“So when are we leaving?”

“Alan has to radio the location report to us and Keith has to finish freaking out on the punching bag. Then we’re all set.”

Pidge nods. “This has been pretty tough on him, hasn’t it? I mean, I’ve never seen Allura get this crazy before.”

“Neither have I, but I’ve had a feeling something like this was going to happen sooner or later. You’ve seen how many times she’s wanted to do her own thing, and she gets hassled and lectured each and every time she tries. That’s a sure-fire formula for anarchy. And I’ll tell you something else. I don’t like seeing Keith get all worked up, but otherwise I’m all for it. Allura can’t live the rest of her life in a fairy tale, no matter how much Coran and Nanny would like it that way.”

“Yeah, but what’s going to happen if she does start doing her own thing whenever she wants? If this is any indication of what she’ll do, we all could be in for some big trouble.”

“I say bring it on. Let her be whatever she wants. She has the right.”

“You can talk like that because you aren’t Keith,” I say to him.

“Even Keith will have to appreciate the long-term benefits. I think this will open up a whole new angle between him and Allura.” He gets a sly grin. “I just hope he can handle it all.”

“You okay, Keith?”

“Yeah, Dexter, I’m fine.” He rests his forehead against the punching bag for a moment and sighs. “I think I’ve got it all worked out of my system, finally.”

“That’s good. Now all we have left to do is get the princess, bring her back to the castle, and all is well.”

“All except for the blouse she was wearing. How do I explain that to Coran and Nanny?”

“I think you ought to let her deal with it. There’s only so much responsibility you can take for her in this situation, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. But still...” He straightens up from the bag. “Ahh, never mind. I just want to get her back here and get this over with. Tomorrow’s a new day. Track down the Barbarian Brothers for me and tell them we’ll all be meeting in the sitting room, okay? I’m going to take a quick shower, and I’ll be right over.”

“Gotcha, Captain-Captain.” I unhook my radio from my belt and call up Hunk. I can hear the sound of an engine revving in the background when he answers. “Yeah, Dexter?”

“You two aren’t doing anything really involved, are you?”

“Nahh, we’re just tinkering with my truck, that’s all. What’s up?”

“Latest word from Keith. Everybody’s supposed to head for the sitting room to wait for -”

A cry of alarm comes from the locker room. It sounds like Keith. I snap my head around to look in that direction.

“Wait for what, Dexter? I didn’t catch the last of that.”

“Hang on, Hunk. I’ll get right back to you.” I head over to the locker room entrance at a fast clip. I hear Keith’s voice again just as I reach the door. This time he sounds rather agitated.

“So you want even more criminal charges added to your list, I take it,” I hear him say.

“Sure thing, Cap’n Keithie. If we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do it up right.”

Tasia? Is that Tasia? What is she doing in the men’s locker room?

I step through the door. It’s her all right, and Shannon is with her. They have Keith in handcuffs. It looks like they nabbed him just outside the shower; his hair is still wet and he has nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

“All right, what’s going on here?”

“Express delivery for the princess,” Shannon says. “Don’t interfere, and you won’t get hurt.”

Keith looks very annoyed. “Listen to what she says, Dexter. They’re both armed and dangerous. Go alert the rest of the team.”

“But not too soon,” Tasia adds. “We need a head start.” She aims her laser pistol at me and fires before I can react. The stun beam hits me in the chest, but I don’t go out. My body feels like every muscle in it has fallen asleep all at once. I hit the floor and can’t budge an inch. Shannon gives me a cheerful wave as they go through the back door with their captive.

“This is as good as it gets, Hunk,” Dunkirk says as he shuts the hood of my truck. “Ye’ll nae get th’ timin’ any better.”

I don’t answer him. I’m too busy staring at my radio, waiting for Dexter to call. Dunkirk looks around at me.

“What’s th’ problem?”

“Dexter started to tell me about a meeting, then he told me to hold on and he hasn’t called back yet. Wonder if that’s bad news.”

“Or maybe it’s good news. Th’ princess mighta just up an’ come back already, d’ye think?”

“No such luck. I think we better get to the sitting room and see what’s going on.”

“So where are you two taking me, might I ask?”

“We’re going to pay a visit to the princess, Cap’n Keithie. She asked for you personally.”

“If that’s so, then don’t you think I ought to be wearing something a little more substantial than a towel?”

“Not for what she wants you for, sweetie.”

Shannon giggles. I look at Tasia. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. She wants to get real up-close and personal, and you’re dressed for the part.”

“I think the wet hair makes a nice touch,” Shannon says.

“Yeah, that’ll help set the mood.”

“Set the mood for what?”

“For practice, of course.” Shannon says.

“Practice? What kind of practice?”

“You’ll see soon enough.” Shannon gets a smile that’s so wicked I just know I’m in trouble. Then it hits me.

“Wait just a minute. Are we talking about the kind of ‘practice’ I think we’re talking about?”

She doesn’t reply, but the sudden widening of her smile tells me all I need to know. “Now you listen here, both of you - this is very much not funny, and you need to uncuff me right this minute.”

A pair of security guards on patrol stop dead in the middle of the hall and gape open-mouthed as Shannon and Tasia cross the intersection. I want to make an appeal for help, but somehow I don’t think it’ll register. They both look too stunned. I shrug inwardly as the opportunity to escape slips by. But in a way this could be good. I’ll get a chance to talk to Allura directly and try to convince her of the error of her ways. I should be able to talk her out of whatever so-called ‘practice’ she wants to do, at the very least.

Hope this towel stays put till then.

“What’cha mean Dexter’s not here, Lance?” Hunk demands with a fold of his arms. “Where is he, then? Where did he call us from?”

“He was down at the gym with Keith - at least he was when I left. What’s wrong?”

“He called us on the radio, said we were supposed to come back here for something. Then he cut the message short and said he’d get back to us, only he hasn’t got back to us. He sounded like something was up and he was gonna take a look into it.”

“That’s not good. Let’s go. Everyone down to the gym.”

When we arrive, Dexter is sitting in the middle of one of the floor mats, rubbing at his legs like mad.

“Come on, come on...work!” He looks up as we cross the floor. “Hey, guys.”

“Dexter...what happened to you?”

“I got zapped when Keith got kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped? By who?”

“By Tasia and Shannon, that’s who. They took me down so they could make their getaway. Tasia used a stun beam on me...I think. But it didn’t knock me cold. Pretty weird.”

Hunk gets a faraway expression, as if he’s pondering something deep. I help Dexter get on his feet. “Did they say where they were taking him?”

“They said they were making an ‘express delivery for the princess’. All he had on was a towel. I can only imagine what could happen next.” He smiles a little. “Say, do we really want to interrupt this?”

I glare at him. “Of course we do. This is the guys versus the gals, and so far they’ve run roughshod over us all day. We can’t let them drag our Captain off to be Allura’s boy-toy on top of all of that.”

“Lance is right, fellahs,” Dunkirk says. “Why, th’ next thing ye know, they’ll be seein’ fit t’ grab one o’ us too, an’ -” He rubs his chin. “Well, maybe that might nae be so bad...”

I frown at Dunkirk. “Idiot! You’re not supposed to want to surrender! Now come on - they’ve added insult to injury by making off with Keith. We have to fight back! First things first, though - we get the super-soakers.”

Pidge doesn’t seem to get it. “Super-soakers? What for, Lance?”

I grin at him. “Because, my dear lad, surrendering to the enemy is one thing. Seeing them run around in wet, clingy lingerie is quite another.”

After being escorted to the vehicle bay, I get put in the back seat of Shannon’s car and driven to the apartment complex where Allura’s employees, both military and civilian, can have a place to live off-castle if they choose. The car pulls into the parking lot and Shannon comes around to the back door.

“Okay, Keith, we’re going to walk you to the apartment. But no funny stuff - you could lose that towel very easily.”

I don’t have a stern and Captain-like reply to give them as of yet, but my mind begins to prepare one as I’m helped out of the car - very carefully, watch that towel - and taken into the building. As we approach the elevator, an elderly couple is stepping off of it. They give us looks of complete bafflement as we walk past them.

“College prank,” Shannon says as we step into the booth. The couple exchanges glances and the woman shakes her head.

“Kids these days...” she muses to herself as the doors go shut. I look at Shannon.

“Are you aware of the total tonnage for the orbital facility?”

“It’s about six hundred and twenty-two thousand tons displacement.”

“Can you calculate how long it would take to scrub all of that with a toothbrush?”

“And thus the Mighty Captain Keith has spoken,” she mocks. “What’s the total coverage in square feet for this towel?” She flicks at the edge of it with a finger. I yelp, jump sideways and nearly bump into Tasia. She laughs. I glare at her but she doesn’t look the least bit intimidated. How imposing can a guy look when he’s nearly naked?

Tasia skips ahead as we exit the elevator on the fifth floor and raps lightly on the door that leads to one of the girl’s apartments - I’m not sure whose, though I do recall that most of them are on the fifth floor. She opens the door and pokes her head around it.

“Princess, we got a present for you...” She steps back then and lets Shannon pull me into the room. The girls are all piled up on or sitting around the couch, dressed in an array of cami pajamas, teddies and babydolls. It looks like I’ve just walked into a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot. They break into applause and cheers as Shannon brings me to a stop in front of the couch.

Allura is seated in the middle of the couch. She’s wearing a satin babydoll of powder blue with a dark blue robe hanging off her shoulders. Her eyes get wide as she looks me over, then she gets a naughty grin.

“Oooh, for me?” she purrs, and I catch a bit of a slur to her voice. “You shouldn’t have.” She giggles and wobbles a little as she gets to her feet to walk around the coffee table. My gaze falls to the glasses resting on it. That doesn’t look like sodas and fruit juice they’ve been drinking. I cast an accusing look at Tasia, and she shrugs. I give Shannon the same look and get the same reaction. Allura comes up to me and drapes her arms around my neck. The silky fabric of her nightgown allows her body to slide along mine slightly as she settles against me. I bite my lip inwardly and give her as calm a look as I can manage.

“Hiya handsome,” she says. “Come here often?”

A lecture on sobriety and a dressing-down of proper conduct for a princess both attempt to leap out of my mouth at the same time. The only thing that manages to escape, however, is a quiet ‘umm’. Allura turns to address the group.

“Ladies, I would like to thank you for a wonderful afternoon, and this wonderful gift. I haven’t had this much fun in years. Now, before I scoot off to practice -” A chorus of giggles ensues and knowing looks are exchanged. “I think that it’s my turn to make a show of generosity.” She looks at me and makes a twirling motion with her hand. “Turn around, dear.”

“What?”

“Come on, sweetie.” She takes me by the shoulders and faces me away from the group. The girls are quiet. They don’t seem to know what she’s up to either, and that worries me.

“I would like to address this not-so-solemn assembly of The Pink Ladies, and at this time make a reciprocal gesture of kindness in order to say ‘thank you’ for all the hospitality being shown me this day. I’m sure you’ve all wondered what this particular set of buns looks like in its natural state, so here it is. Ladies, I present to you the finest butt on Arus.”

She takes hold of the towel and lifts it up. I feel cool air on my bare bottom, coming in sharp contrast to the sudden heat burning my facial cheeks. The girls erupt into cheers and applause. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Is that not a most excellent piece of work? Come up and have a pat, everyone! Pat the wonderful Keith butt!”

“What...?” I hear the girls get up from their seats and Allura continues to hold the towel aloft as they pass by one at a time. “Hey...! Shannon, I know that was you, I hear you giggling...ow! Who pinched? That was a pinch I felt - Tasia, no squeezing the tomato! Hey! That was not a pat, that was a slap, thank you...! Eep! Who’s got the cold hands?”

When the last giggling participant resumes her seat, Allura lowers the towel. I am about to give thanks that the worst of my ordeal is over when Lynne hands Allura a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup and nods toward a short hallway on the left. Allura waves the syrup like a trophy, then amid the cheers of her associates she hooks her arm in mine and walks me toward - no, I don’t even have to guess. But this is still good. I can appeal to what’s left of her senses without the pressure of her peers.

Allura starts humming to herself as she walks over to the bed. She lets go of my arm, turns me around and pushes me so I fall onto the mattress. Then she crawls onto the bed beside me and sits on her heels as she opens the stopper on the syrup.

“Allura...can we talk?”

She pauses with the bottle hovering over my chest and pulls it back. “Talk...about what?”

“You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?”

She smiles and nods. “Uh-huh. Bama-Slammas.”

“Yeah, it sure sounds like you’re slammed, all right. You know, when people are in an advanced state of inebriation, they often find themselves doing things that they normally wouldn’t do in regular circumstances.”

She turns thoughtful. “You’re absolutely right. I’d probably never try to cover you in chocolate syrup any other time...but that’s what makes this fun.” She squirts some of the sticky stuff on my belly and smears it around with a finger. “So you’ll tell me when I’m doing the oral sex properly, right?”

“Oral - what? Allur - ahhh!” I stiffen as she leans down to lick off the chocolate she’s just smeared on my skin. It takes all the resistance in my entire being to fight down the urge she’s awakening in me. Okay, time for plan number two. “Allura, wait!”

The alarm in my voice makes her stop, thank goodness. She straightens up and studies me with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Umm, I want to tell you something...promise you won’t laugh?”

She smiles sweetly at me. “Okay, I promise.”

“Well, you know...there are things that can be done to help set the, ahh...the mood for a situation like this.”

“Oh yes, you mean foreplay, right? But I thought that’s what the chocolate syrup was for.”

“Yeah, it is...but, umm...there’s something else I’d like for you to do...to help me get into the mood as well.”

Now I have her interest. “All right, what is it?”

“You need a spray bottle.”

She tilts her head. “A spray bottle?”

“Yeah. A spray bottle full of water.”

“Why?”

“Because then you could spray the front of your nightgown, and it would be like wearing a wet T-shirt - I could see your, umm...well, I could see your body through the fabric, and that would be exciting for me. Maybe there’s one in the bathroom, you think?”

“Spray bottle...okay.” She pats my stomach and smiles. “I’ll be right back.” She sets the syrup on the end table, scoots off of the bed and leaves the room. I start working on pulling my hands through the cuffs the moment she steps through the door. Damn it...come on, already!

To Allura's New Groove: Part 10

To Allura's New Groove: Part 12